Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Autumn Civilizes Us

Autumn civilizes us
Summer's bare arms are sheathed
and the ritual of the cooling air sends us inside
to make schoolwork with sober chalkmarks

And I might say, drily,
"Autumn's softening light adds texture and shadow
to the still-yellow day."

Now analyze the poem.
But my students' eyes are elsehwere, on Autumn,
with its open space and windows
and living, biting insects
all still with us when we talk

And supposedly the famous leaves will don unsober brights
all too soon. But that bomb of color comes too late for Autumn,
verging on the foreshadowed winter.
(Screw the Fall! I'd rather not watch)
I prefer the daylight today, and the twittering, still-green trees,
and you, of course, and the texture of your sweater:
another Autumn, holding in the still-warm air.

Another fledgling attempt at verse. Do forgive the self-indulgence...
Anyway, an earlier instance (a more summery poem) can be found here.

Critiques are always welcomed.


Suhail said...

Quite a good one. Perhaps could've avoided the 'screwing' reference. Not because it's vulgar, but here somehow it doesn't feel like it jells in.

Also learned that 'drily' is a legit. word :)

8:05 PM  
Amardeep said...


Hm, you might be right. I put it in to indicate a radical change of direction, but it might be too strong...

Thanks for the comment.

6:46 AM  
brimful said...

Because I am ever the contrarian, allow me to say that I love the use of (Screw the fall! I'd rather not watch). It reminds me of a paranthetical in one of my favorite poems- One Art by Elizabeth Bishop.

12:26 PM  
Taupe said...

I quite like this poem. Not sure about the use of 'supposedly' though. Makes the line rather long and unrhythmical.

Why 'supposedly'?

4:58 PM  
Amardeep said...

Taupe, Another good question. I wanted something to indicate my (provisional) disinterest in this most famous part of the autumn ritual. The idea of this poem is: for me, autumn starts well before the leaves change.

But I might be able to do that with something more rhythmically appealing than "supposedly."

1:27 PM  

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