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The following Barry Champlain's two most important monologues from the movie. They have been transcribed so they can be referred back to for effective quotes from the movie.
The worst news of the night is that three out of four people in this country
say they rather watch TV than have sex with their spouse.
The second worst news is that some kids needed money for crack last night so you know what they did? They stuck a knife in the throat of an eighty year old grandmother down on Eulid Avenue. Right here in Dallas.
One night, in one American city. Multiply that by hundreds of cities and what've you got: a country where culture means pornography and slasher films, where ethics mans payoffs, graft insider trading, where integrity means lying, whoring, intoxication.
This country is in deep trouble, people!
This country is rotten to the core and somebody better do something about it.
I want you to take your hand out of the bowl of Fritos, throw away your National Inquirer, and pick up that phone-- go ahead PICK IT UP!
[caller] Uhhhhh... a lot of problems with this country have a lot to do with the continued exploitation of Third World countries.
[Barry] Ppbbbtt!!! Wait a minute, WAIT A MINUTE!
[caller] I mean...
[Barry] Hold on-- Third World countries? Where'd you learn that phrase, in college? Something you heard on 60 Minutes? You know what it means?
[caller] We're getting off track
We're not getting off the track. Josh, we're getting on the
track. Josh go back to college, when you graduate, give me a call
A prime example of that uniquely American institution: the concerned, sensitive, bleeding heart liberal, looking for people with problems he can call his own.
You do not make perfect sense to me. As you name?
I am a hypocrite; I ask for sincerity and I lie.
I denounce the system as I embrace it.
I want money and power and prestige.
I want ratings and success, and I don't give a damn about you or the world.
That's the truth.
For this I could say I'm sorry, but I won't. Why should I? I mean who the hell are you anyway…you audience? You're on me every night like a pack of wolves cause you can't stand facing what you are and what you've made. Yes, the world is a terrible place, yes, cancer and garbage disposals will get you. Yes, a war is coming, yes, the world is shot to hell and you're all goners.
Everything is screwed up and you like it that way, don't you? You're fascinated by the gory details.
You're mesmerized by your own fear. You revel in floods, car accidents, unstoppable diseases. You're happiest when others are in pain. That's where I come in, isn't it? I'm here to lead you by the hands through the dark forest of your own hated and anger and humiliation. I'm providing a public service.
You're so scared. You're like a little child under the covers. You're afraid of the boogie man, but you can't live without him. Your fear, your own lives have become your entertainment.
|Next month, millions of people
are going to be listening to this show, and you have nothing to talk about!
Marvelous technology is at your disposal, but instead of reaching up to
new heights we're going to see how far down we can go; how deep into the
muck we can immerse ourselves.
What do you want to talk about, hum? Baseball scores, your pet, orgasms? You're pathetic. I despise each and every one of you. You have nothing, absolutely nothing! No brains, no power, no future, no hope, no god! The only thing you believe in is me. What are you if you don't have me?
I'm not afraid, you see. I come in here every night. I make my case; I make my point.
I say what I believe in. I tell you what you are, I have to. I have no choice!
You frighten me. I come in here every night and I tear into you. I abuse you, I insult you, and you just keep coming back for more! What's wrong with you? Why do you keep calling? I don't want to hear anymore.
Stop talking- - GO AWAY!