Andrew
Editing error breakdown
essay 2

Comma and conjunction (and, but. etc) join 2 sentences

1) we acknowledge your suggestions and we have taken all criticisms here at NASM into deep consideration.

we acknowledge your suggestions
and
we have taken all criticisms here at NASM into deep consideration.

2) World War II Veterans have brought a new prospective to the exhibit and we are very grateful for this.

World War II Veterans have brought a new prospective to the exhibit
and
we are very grateful for this.

3) The Enola Gay is the centerpiece of our exhibit and the “Last Act” goes further than simply isolating the plane.

The Enola Gay is the centerpiece of our exhibit
and
the “Last Act” goes further than simply isolating the plane.

4) This is a revised version to “The Crossroads” exhibit and we also implemented many suggestions from the wide range of criticism received.

This is a revised version to “The Crossroads” exhibit
and
we also implemented many suggestions from the wide range of criticism received.

Other comma errors

5) Then in accordance with the rest of the exhibit, we want our visitors to formulate their own opinions

Then
in accordance with the rest of the exhibit,
we want our visitors to formulate their own opinions

6) Recognizing the validity of their statements we added corrections that are actual quotes taken from marines stationed in various places at the time.

Recognizing the validity of their statements
we added corrections that are actual quotes taken from marines stationed in various places at the time.

Punctuation with quotes

7) the “Last Act”,
 

Miscellaneous word errors

8) We feel as though vivid depicting the dropping of the atomic bomb would make the Enola Gay’s presence more fascinating to museum patrons.

9) They lived in a time where racial and cultural differences fanned fears and inflamed hatreds.

10) That is why we see the importance of thoroughly presenting the exhibit to present day American.

11) after being exposed to a well-balanced exhibit, not one that evokes bias thoughts.

12) apologizing to the Japanese and being extremely sympathetic to the bombs devastating effects

13) The most helpful part was the response by the Veterans

14) They feel that the view points of American soldiers and officials are left out

15) which added to the balance of hate during the war and relinquishing some of the criticism on the United States.