The assignment asked students to use the writing process to develop a paragraph relating to their favorite things at school. The following rubric shows how the class did overall.
The lowest score was in the area of sentence structure.  The students did well with capitalization and punctuation, but had difficulty in varying the beginnings of their sentences.  The result were sentences that always started with I or my.  We briefly discussed this issue during the unit, but the students didn't seem to grasp this concept.  I believe the students would benefit greatly from an extra lesson and assignment dealing with the issue of varying sentence beginnings.

The lesson plan follows this rubric.
 
 

	Excellent (4)	Good (3)	Developing (2)	Needs Improvement (1)	Average Score of Class
Writing Process	Use of web in which main idea is at center and supporting points extend; edited rough draft has all errors circled and corrected; final draft makes use of all corrections made in rough draft and is free of spelling or grammatical errors.	Use of web in which main idea is at center and supporting points extend; edited rough draft has most errors circled and corrected; final draft makes use of most corrections made in rough draft and has few spelling or grammatical errors.	Attempted use of web, but  main idea and supporting points are not clear; attempted editing  rough draft, but most errors are not circled and corrected; final draft has several spelling and grammatical errors.	Did not complete one or more steps of the writing process (web, rough draft, edited draft, final draft); steps that were completed were unclear and needed more work; very difficult to follow steps taken to complete assignment.	_______3.5_______
Sentence Structure	First letter of  all sentences capitalized; all proper nouns capitalized; correct punctuation used in every sentence; varied sentence beginnings throughout paragraph.	First letter of all sentences capitalized; most proper nouns capitalized; correct punctuation used in most sentences; varied sentence beginnings used sometimes throughout paragraph.	First letter of most sentences capitalized; some proper nouns capitalized; correct punctuation used in some sentences; varied sentence beginnings not used throughout paragraph.	First letter of some sentences capitalized; proper nouns not capitalized; lacks proper use of punctuation; sentence beginnings same throughout paragraph.	_______2________
Paragraph Structure	Paragraph indented; clear topic sentence, support sentences, and closure.	Paragraph indented; at least two of three aspects of paragraph structure clear (topic sentence, support sentences, closure).	Paragraph not indented; at least one of three aspects of paragraph structure clear (topic sentence, support sentences, closure).	Paragraph not indented; cannot identify which sentences are topic, support, or closure.	_______3_______

 
 

(Adapted from plan written by Martha James; Jefferson Elementary, Everette, WA.)

Topic:  Varying sentence beginnings.

Time:  2-3 45 minute periods.

Grade Level:  3-5

Objectives:  Students will be able to write a paragraph in which they use varied sentence beginnings for a five sentence paragraph.

Materials: Chalkboard for teacher, paper and pencil for students, and two sample paragraphs:  one that starts every sentence using I or my and one that uses varied sentence beginnings.

Engagement:
Students are asked to decide which paragraph sounds better.
Students are read two sample paragraphs (one with all sentences started with I or my and one read using varied sentence structures) and are asked to vote on the one that sounds better.

Students are told that readers often get bored when every sentence starts the same and so as writers we need to try to vary the beginnings of the sentences throughout a paragraph.

Student samples are read to class to further exemplify this point.

Procedure:
-Students are asked to write down six material things that they would like to have most.
I give them an example:
Things Mr. Ayres would most like: new car, my own house, a million dollars, a dog, a new mountain bike, and rock climbing gear.

-As a group we discuss some of the things the students wrote.
Students are then asked to pick three of their most favorite things from their list.

-Then the students are asked through guiding questions what three things make up an effective paragraph.

1) Topic sentence
2) Support sentences
3) closing sentence

-Then the students are asked to create a topic sentence for their paragraph that does not begin with I or my.
They are given the following examples and encouraged to follow them exactly.
    Three things that would make me happy are.......
    If I had three wishes they would include....
    Three sure ways to make me happy are......

-Once all students have completed the topic sentence they are asked what comes next in our paragraph.
If necessary they are guided to three supporting sentences.  Students are told that we will work on one sentence at a time.
The first sentence will begin with an -ing word.  The following examples are given:
    Driving around in my new car would really make me feel alive.
    Owning a new house would be the greatest feeling in the whole world.

-When all students are done with their first supporting sentence they are told to start the next support sentence with the word "to" and an action verb.  Some samples:
    To have a million dollars would been I would not have to worry about paying my bills on time.
    To live in a brand new house would feel great.

-The third supporting sentence can begin with I or my.  examples:
    I would really love to win a million dollars.

-The closing sentence begins with a word or phrase such as:
    Finally......
    In conclusion.......
    Surely.....

-Once students are finished writing they are asked to work in groups of two to edit their work-teacher will look over for any spelling or grammar errors editor may have missed.

Closure:
Students work in groups of two and compare previous written paragraph (one correlating with rubric) and the work they just completed.  Students are to decide as a group which work is better and why.  Students are to be prepared to discuss the advantages of writing with varied sentence beginnings.

Assessment:
Student performance will be based on the students ability to complete the paragraph using the prescribed steps given in the lesson.