Challenges in College

The following “issues” commonly experienced by students in college can sometimes pose major challenges to study, play, socializing, and living. In the following, some of these challenges are identified and described, and suggestions are provided for further exploring or managing them.

Jump to: Homesickness | Sleep | Anxiety | Depression | Eating and Body Image Concerns | Self Injurious Behavior | Grief and Loss | Trauma

Homesickness

Thoughts about Homesickness

Most people will have felt homesick at some time in their lives, perhaps when they were younger, and it is easy to forget just how overwhelming it can be.

Beginning life at college naturally generates both excitement and anxiety for many reasons including the move, academic responsibilities, and meeting new people. For some, this apprehension is quickly overcome as they adapt to a new environment; for others the transition takes longer and sometimes emerges as homesickness where there is a preoccupation with home-focused thoughts. There is a yearning for and grieving over the loss of what is familiar and secure: most often it is about the loss of people - family and friends - but it is also about the loss of places, pets, and old routines.

Those who experience homesickness might notice an increase in depressed feelings, anxiety, obsessive thoughts and minor physical ailments. Homesickness can often be distinguished from depression in this way - in depression sufferers find both college and home awful, whereas in homesickness university life can feel awful while home may be seen through rose-tinted hues. Some students will start by being mildly depressed and anxious several weeks before leaving home, in anticipation of the impending change. Others will be fine initially, and then to their surprise find themselves feeling homesick later in the academic year, perhaps after the Thanksgiving or semester break, or even at the start of their second academic year. But commonly it is the first few days or weeks after arriving at the university that tend to be the most difficult.

If you are homesick, you aren’t the only one on campus feeling that way. Talking with someone about how you are feeling often helps, whether that is with a gryphon, a friend, other members of a therapy group, or with a counselor. Hopefully you will feel free to call the Lehigh University Counseling Center at 83880 to explore your options there.

Maybe I’m Homesick?

Signs

If you are experiencing homesickness, you might notice an increase in:

• Low energy or motivation

• Trouble sleeping

• Increases/decreases in appetite

• Feeling like you just "don't care" about anything

• Having difficulty with school

• Increased use of drugs or alcohol

• Obsessively missing family/friends

• Phone bills beyond your budget

• Pervasive unhappiness or displeasure

• Feeling like you "need" to go home

• Lack of interest or involvement in new surroundings

• Depressed feelings or constantly feeling close to tears

• Frequent nervousness or social anxiety

• Obsessive thoughts and inability to concentrate

• Minor physical ailments

• No longer enjoying anything at college, even though you used to

• Feeling like everyone else is happy except you

Causes

• The distance from home – the farther you go, the worse it may be

• A sense of anticlimax – you have finally arrived at college after working toward it for so long

• Unhappiness when things are different from your expectations of student life

• A heavy workload

• Students who are homesick often feel they have no control over their environment, recognize they are not yet identified with the place, and do not feel committed to the university or their place in it

What might help?

• Talk to someone. If you haven't yet made friends here, then try a tutor, supervisor, chaplain, nurse or counselor.

• Keep in good contact with the people you have left behind; arrange a time to go back to see them, perhaps after a few weeks. But also give yourself time within the university to begin to get involved here. Don't let looking back actually hinder moving forward.

• Remember that many other students will be experiencing similar feelings, although you may assume that they are doing fine!

• You are allowed to feel sad and homesick! You are also allowed to enjoy yourself - it isn't being disloyal to those you miss!

• Be realistic about what to expect from student life and from yourself. Establish a balance between work and leisure: you are NOT expected to work ALL the time - you would soon burn out if you tried. On the other hand, if you don't put in enough time on work, you can very quickly get behind, which only adds to the stress!

• If work is proving too difficult, you may need to improve your study skills or your organization of time. There may be people in the office of Academic Support Services or Dean of Students who can help in this area.

• Remember to get enough food and sleep! These affect you emotionally as well as physically.

• Make contacts and friends through shared activities such as sport or other interests. There are so many clubs and societies within the university and locally, that you are very likely to find something that suits your particular interests. At the start of the academic year many new people will be joining - you are unlikely to be the only new person.

• Give yourself time to adjust - you don't have to get everything right straight away. Nor do you have to rush into making major decisions about staying or leaving.

• Check out what you do really want to be at this university, in this college, studying this subject, at this time. Most people come through times of homesickness and go on to do well and enjoy their time at university. But for some, the best choice may be to leave and head in another direction. Those who do leave mostly find another course or university with which they are happy, perhaps after taking a year out. But if you are thinking along these lines, you need to take expert advice about the academic, career and financial implications. In addition to the advice of valued family and friends, make use of campus resources such as your gryphon, someone in Career Services, your advisor, a dean, or a UCPS counselor.

• If you stop being able to do normal social and academic things, seek professional help either from your advisor or dean or the counseling service. Don't wait until the problems have grown impossibly large!

What if none of this stuff works?

Talking with someone in the counseling center is very likely to help. If you find that you are having continuing trouble adjusting, or continue to feel homesick after a reasonable amount of time (4-6 weeks), we invite you to meet with one of us.

If you would like to further discuss this issue with a counselor, please contact the University Counseling and Psychological Services at 610-753-3880, ask the receptionist to help you find a time to meet with a counselor, and we will be happy to work with you.

*Special thanks to University of Cambridge, University of Montana, and YouthNet UK.

Difficulty Sleeping?

Because very few college students regularly get the eight hours of sleep they need daily, or frequently put together their sleep hours in haphazard fashion, difficulties due to sleep pose one of the biggest challenges in living for many college students. There is no easy cure for this other than to try to get adequate sleep and to figure out ways to fall asleep when the opportunity presents.

Tips for a better night’s sleep

• Wake up at the same time every day (including on weekends). This will help your body become tired when you need to go to sleep and feel refreshed throughout the day

• Attend to the sleep environment. Is the amount of light, level of noise, and temperature appropriate for sleep?

• Use light. Just as decreasing light helps you sleep, increasing light helps you wake (especially direct sunlight)

• Exercise moderately

• Avoid naps; they mess up your body’s natural sleep clock

• Use some “wind down” time. Go through the same routine every night that helps you relax and prepare for rest

• If your thoughts are racing, write down your thoughts or “to dos” on a piece of paper for the next day

• Use a relaxation exercise before going to sleep (see above for examples of relaxation exercises)

• Don’t eat or drink too much before going to sleep. Digestion can hinder the depth of your sleep and liquids can cause you to wake up during the night to go to the bathroom

• Avoid caffeine after 5pm. Although you may not feel the affects of caffeine, it can stay in your system and disturb your sleep

If sleep difficulties persist over time despite trying the above strategies, you may be suffering from Insomnia or from some other significant difficulty impacting your ability to sleep normally. For a consultation with a counselor regarding sleep difficulties, contact us at 8-3880.

*Special thanks to the Kansas State University Counseling Services

For more help on sleep, check out this powerpoint about sleep hygeine.

Anxiety

Anxiety is a natural consequence of everyday stressful events. Many students experience some anxiety throughout their day; in some respects it can help them navigate difficult situations. However, anxiety can also become severe, persistent and counterproductive. Anxiety can take the form of a psychological disorder including Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Phobias, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. The NIMH has more information on these anxiety disorders.

Test Anxiety

Some students may experience severe anxiety while taking exams. They may feel nervous and notice themselves sweating, hyper-ventilating, and having difficulty concentrating. However, since test anxiety is a learned response, it can also be unlearned.

What can I do to reduce test anxiety?

• Eat a performance meal (high protein, low carbohydrate) while studying and before the exam to provide optimal mental energy

• Get enough sleep

• Exercise (physical energy = mental energy)

• Minimize your alcohol and caffeine use

• Use a relaxation exercise (see below for samples)

• Study ahead of time and create practice tests similar to the format of the exam (Multiple Choice, Essay, Concept Application)

• Stop negative thoughts (“I don’t know enough to pass”) about the test and increase positive thoughts (“I know a lot of this information; I’ll start with the questions I know”)

  • Expectations often impact actual performance

For more help contact the Center for Academic Success early in the semester for information about studying and preparing for tests. The UCPS can offer assistance and consultation for students struggling with test anxiety.

* Special thanks to Texas Women’s University Counseling Center

Stress Management

What is stress? Stress (also called anxiety) is a reaction to everyday demands on our energy. There are various ways you may experience stress including increased adrenaline, muscle tension, hyper-ventilation …anything that makes your body and mind work faster. Sometimes, our stress spills over into an unproductive feeling or mindset. In this case, there are various ways to manage or reduce your stress reaction.

• Ask yourself two questions

• How many demands are pressing on me?

• How am I coping with these demands?

• Ways to cope

  • Eliminate unnecessary demands

  • Take an assessment of your ability to cope with stress:

    1. Do I have enough physical, mental, and emotional energy?

    2. For more physical energy, attend to your eating, sleep, exercise, and use of substances like alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine.

    3. For more mental energy, consider changes in your study habits and organization strategies.

    4. For more emotional energy, find ways to vent and increase your social support through friends, family, and/or your romantic partner.

  • Engage in a relaxation/meditation exercise (see below for samples)

  • Take strategic study breaks and set up “rewards” for accomplishing successful work.

• Strategies that don’t work:

  • Ignore your physical/emotional reactions to stress

  • Blame other people

  • Push harder

  • Add demands

For more help, UCPS can offer consultation for students interested in stress management techniques.

* Special thanks to Texas Women’s University Counseling Center

Social Anxiety

The social scene at college can be anxiety-provoking at times, especially during your first year. While some students are naturally outgoing, most have to work to make social connections. Some students may find that they tend to isolate themselves or remove themselves from participating in activities for fear of embarrassment, being judged, or fear of rejection. Some label themselves as shy and fail to think of themselves as capable of joining with others. Nevertheless, this is an area where students can make changes in how they interact with others and here are some tips for making social connections:

• Change unrealistic expectations (“I should have a close group of friends the first week of college”) to realistic expectations (“It takes time to make close friends; I can start by talking to people in my residence hall”)

• Turn critical thoughts (“I probably wasn’t funny enough”) into realistic thoughts (“I can’t be funny all the time”)

• Build friendships by joining student activities/organizations.

• Pay attention to your body language and try to use good eye contact, a relaxed but alert posture, and smile.

• Think of each social experience as a way to practice making connections.

• Use open ended questions to get a conversation started. This includes any question that cannot be answered with a one-word statement (“yes” or “no”) and typically starts with “why…”, “how…”, “what…”, or “when…”.

* Special thanks to the University of Texas at Dallas Student Counseling Center

Samples of Relaxation Exercises

1. Exercise 1

2. Exercise 2

*Special thanks to Hobart and William Smith Colleges Counseling Center

Public Speaking Anxiety (PDF)

Self-Evaluation for Anxiety - Follow links to “Generalized Anxiety” section

Self Help Books and Interesting Reading

1. “The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook” by Edmund Bourne

2. “Don’t Panic” by Reid Wilson

Depression

There are various ways our mood may change throughout the week. At times, we may feel especially “down” or “tired”. If this “down” feeling also includes unexpected crying, changes in eating/sleeping, or even suicidal thoughts - - and seems to last for a few weeks, you may be experiencing symptoms of depression. For more information about depression, click here.

How will I know if I'm depressed?

If you've been feeling sad, pessimistic, hopeless and down more often than not over the past two weeks or more, and you've stopped enjoying things that used to be fun, you might be depressed. Check the symptoms below - if you have experienced three or more it is likely you are experiencing a bout of depression.

• Finding it hard to get motivated and feel interested in thing because of lacking energy and feeling sluggish.

• Wanting to avoid friends and everyday activities.

• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions.

• Losing interest in eating, or overeating.

• Sleeping difficulties or feeling fatigued nearly every day.

• Thinking about death, or planning suicide.

• Having unpleasant, negative thoughts (like feeling guilty or that you are a bad or unworthy person).

• Getting pains in your body or headaches that don't seem to have any physical cause.

How did I get depressed?

Sometimes stress builds up in our lives and overwhelms our ability to cope. You may have lost someone you love, experienced some significant failures, or been too busy for too long. Ongoing stress like coping with injuries, doing poorly academically and failing tests, or feeling lonely and isolated can lead to depression.

Sometimes people get depressed for no obvious reason; the heavy feelings just seem to come out of the blue. This sometimes happens when people come from families who seem more vulnerable to becoming depressed after relatively mild stress. No matter how you became depressed, the effects are debilitating and will affect your academic performance, play, and relationships if left untreated.

What if it's the blues?

It may still be useful for you to discuss your worries and low mood with a professional. At the UCPS we encourage you to come for assistance before little problems become big ones. This may prevent disruption of your studies, social life, and ability to enjoy college.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

No. Depression is more common than most people think. In fact it is about as common as asthma! One in seven people will experience a bout of depression at some stage in their lives.

Ok, so I'm depressed - what now?

Depression can be treated. It's important to treat it like any other illness and seek help. Depression involves changes in brain chemistry and can influence the way you respond to the world around you. Options for dealing with depression include:

• Talking with a Counselor or Psychologist who will

  • Help you learn skills for solving problems, planning ahead and improving interactions with others

  • Help you see the positive side of yourself, others, and your circumstances

  • Assist your relationships with others

• Other options

  • Reduce unnecessary stress in your life

  • Be aware of your negative thoughts (“Nobody here likes me”) and how they affect your mood. Try to stop them and replace them with more realistic (“I’ve met some people I could build a relationship with”) or positive (“I’m going to feel good today”) thoughts

  • Spend more time with people (this may mean you just have to get out of your room and into a public area)

  • Eat a balanced diet and reduce substances that negatively affect your mood (e.g., alcohol, nicotine, caffeine)

  • Find ways to express your feelings (e.g., journal, friend); don’t suppress them

  • Discus with your therapist, the possibility of seeing a psychiatrist to discuss the possibility of using antidepressant medicine to correct the imbalance of chemicals in the brain

Often counseling, together with lifestyle changes, is useful for alleviating depression. In some cases medication may be necessary to help resolve a severe or long-standing bout of depression.

If you think you are depressed

Talk to one of our counselors, or to your Gryphon. If you would like to make an appointment with a Counselor please contact us at 610-758-3880.

*Special thanks to Massey University and UNC Chapel Hill Campus Health Services.

Suicide Prevention

One of the most severe symptoms of depression is suicide. While many people at some time in their lives contemplate the question, “is life worth living?”, students who are depressed tend to answer that question in more pessimistic and hopeless ways and become at risk for hurting or killing themselves. What can you do if your friend says she or he is having serious thoughts about suicide?

• Get your friend to talk about what’s bothering him or her. Use conversation to direct your friends’ thoughts toward getting help.

• Listen. Be aware of what your friend is saying and how he or she is feeling. Don’t push your friend to the edge by saying only, “Things will get better… But you have so much to live for…” Let your friend talk first about how he or she feels and then about the problems that created those feelings.

• Encourage your friend to seek professional help. Treat mental health as you would physical health. Advise your friend to seek help from someone who can help resolve the problem.

• Remove, or encourage your friend to give up anything that could be immediately lethal (e.g. extra pills, gun). Removing such items may reduce the possibility of an impulsive suicide and your actions will convey your concern.

• Don’t leave your friend alone if you discover he or she has a plan or a timetable – take it seriously. Don’t be brushed off by, “I’m okay now.”

• You must get help for the person if they will not seek help for themselves. Contact someone who can help (e.g. Gryphon, RLC, student life dean at 8-4156, counseling center at 8-3880, or campus police at 8-4200).

Suicide Warning Signs

• Depressed behavior (lack of energy, lack of appetite, change in sleep patterns)

• Talking about wanting to die or hurt himself/herself

• Preparing for death (giving away possessions, acquiring means to commit suicide)

• Sudden or unusual or changed patterns of interaction with peers and faculty (e.g. irritability, avoidance)

• Decline in academic performance

• Use of drugs or alcohol to cope with life

Suicide Myths

1. Those who talk about it don’t do it. Three out of four victims talked about suicide before they died. Verbal cues such as “Sometimes I wish I could just sleep and never wake up…” are warnings of suicide and should be recognized as a plea for help.

2. Those who attempt suicide and fail won’t try again. If a person’s feelings about life don’t change and new coping skills were not learned and practiced, a person is likely to rely on suicide to cope with future depression and loss of hope.

3. College students have no reason to commit suicide. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among college students and, 7.5 of every 100,000 college students take their own lives. The fact that their “whole lives are ahead of them” may be more of a threat than a comfort to some.

4. Talking about suicide will cause someone to do it. If someone is so upset that he/she might be considering suicide, you won’t be putting ideas into his/her head by bringing it up. Be direct and ask, “Do you want to die?” Talking about it openly could prevent a person from acting.

If you are in crisis or you are feeling suicidal, we have resources and people you can talk to, or visit ULifeLine, a site dedicated to providing suicide information and resources.

The Jed Foundation web site also has information about suicide awareness for college students.

Self-Evaluation for Depression (Follow links to “Depression” or “Bipolar” section)

Self Help Books and Interesting Reading

Burns, D. D. (1999). Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. New York : Penguin

Eating and Body Image Concerns

“The body holds meaning. A woman obsessed with the size of her body, wishing to make her breasts and thighs and hips and belly smaller and less apparent, may be expressing the fact that she feels uncomfortable being female in this culture.” - Kim Chernin

We’re all self-conscious about our body at times. However, body image concerns may cause serious distress and may lead to maladaptive behaviors related to eating, exercise, and/or methods of purging. Anorexia nervosa, or refusal to maintain a healthy body weight, and Bulimia, a pattern of binge eating and purging behaviors, are two specific psychological disorders related to eating and body image concerns. For more information about these disorders and eating and body image concerns, click here.

Information and resources on eating and body image concerns

Is my Eating Normal?

Maybe I have an Eating Problem

Body Image and Eating Disorders

Self-Evaluation for an Eating Disorder (Follow links to “Eating Disorders” section)

Self Help Books and Interesting Reading

Arnold, G. (1994). Coming home: One Black woman's journey to health and fitness. In E. C. White (Ed.), The Black Woman's Health Book (2nd ed.). Seattle: Seal Press. Bordo, S. (2000). The male body: A new look at men in public and private. New York: Farrar , Strauss & Giroux. Edut, O. (2000). Body outlaws: Young women write about body image and identity. Seattle: Seal Press.  Hornbacher, M. (1998). Wasted: A memoir of anorexia and bulimia. New York: Harper Collins. Pipher, M. (1995). Hunger pains: The modern woman’s tragic quest for thinness. New York: Ballantine. Sherman, R.T., Thompson, R.A. (1990). Bulimia: A guide for family and friends. New York: Lexington. For more help: Lehigh University’s Women’s Center is a great resource for women and men looking to discuss body image issues The UCPS can offer consultation for students looking to talk about eating and body image concerns.

Self-Injurious Behavior

". . .The body speaks of that which cannot be said in words, of secrets, lies, and trust that has been broken." – Sharon K. Farber

What is Self-Injury?

Self-injury (self-harm, self-mutilation) can be defined as the attempt to deliberately cause harm to one's own body and the injury is usually severe enough to cause tissue damage. This is not a conscious attempt at suicide, though some people may see it that way.

Common forms of self mutilation involve cutting, burning, hair-pulling, hitting, interference with wound healing or any other method used to deliberately harm oneself.

You may wonder why someone would intentionally harm him or herself. Self-injury can be used to distract oneself from intense feelings such as anger, sadness, loneliness, shame, guilt or other emotional pain. Many people who cut themselves do so in an attempt to try and release all the emotions they are feeling. Others may feel so numb that seeing their own blood when they cut themselves helps them to feel alive. Some people find that dealing with physical pain is easier than dealing with emotional pain.

Because students who “cut” typically are psychologically distressed and feeling disconnected or emotionally isolated from others, counseling can be very helpful for effecting change. Counselors at the UCPS frequently work with “cutters” and are willing to provide therapy or make referrals for students seeking help.

Self-Injury: You Are NOT The Only One (More information about self-injury)

Self Help Books and Interesting Reading

Cutting: Understanding and Overcoming Self-Mutilation by Steven Levenkron, 1998

Grief & Loss

What is grief?

When we lose someone close to us, whether through death, changes in an important relationship, or other losses, people often feel a deep sadness called grief or bereavement. Grief is experienced in many different ways across cultures and it is normal to experience changes in your usual feelings, thoughts, or behaviors during and after a significant loss. The most popular model of grief suggests people experience a loss by moving back and forth through the following stages:

1. Denial / Shock

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Guilt

5. Depression

6. Loneliness

7. Acceptance

8. Hope

What’s the best way to cope with my grief?

• Realize grief takes time and is longer or shorter for different people in different situations

• Talk with friends, family, and other sources of support (e.g., journal, support group) about the loss

• Try to maintain your usual routines (eating, sleeping, exercise, social activities)

• Determine if you have open-ended issues from the lost relationship, and try to find ways to resolve these issues

• If your grief persists or feels too intense to handle, seek professional help.

*Special thanks to University of Buffalo, University of Iowa, & Hampden-Sydney College Counseling Services

Self Help Books and Interesting Reading

James, J. W., & Friedman, R. (1998). The Grief Recovery Handbook: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses. New York: HarperCollins

Neimeyer, R. A. (1998). Lessons of Loss: A Guide to Coping. Australia: Australian Center for Grief and Bereavement.

Sanders, C. M. (1999). Grief: The Mourning After, Dealing with Adult Bereavement. New York: Wiley.

Worden, J. W. (2002). Grief Counseling & Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practioner. New York: Springer.

Kastenbaum, R. (2006). The Psychology of Death. New York: Springer

Trauma

Trauma can occur when a stressful event (often unexpected) causes significant psychological distress. When psychological trauma persists and is re-experienced by the victim through flashbacks, nightmares, and/or unexpected triggers, the person may be experiencing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

What are some natural responses to a traumatic event?

• Fear

• Nausea

• Depressed mood

• Changes in appetite and sleep

• Avoidance of certain triggers that remind you of the traumatic event

What can I do to cope with a traumatic event?

Remind yourself that it is normal to experience psychological distress after a traumatic event

Remain consistent with your routines (eating, sleeping, exercising, social activities), even if they don’t feel as productive or enjoyable.

Spend some extra time relaxing or talking to friends, family, or other sources of support.

When should I seek professional help?

It may be helpful to speak with a counselor right after a traumatic event, but responses to trauma often go away within a couple weeks. If you find yourself experiencing symptoms after three or four weeks, you should consider talking to a counselor or other mental health professional.

* Special thanks to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention

More information and resources related to traumatic events

Hate/Bias Incident

Relationship Violence, Stalking, & Sexual Assault

Self-Evaluation for Post-Traumatic Stress (Follow links to “Post-Traumatic Stress” section)