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mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";} </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapedefaults v:ext="edit" spidmax="1026"/> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapelayout v:ext="edit"> <o:idmap v:ext="edit" data="1"/> </o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--> </head> <body lang=EN-US link=blue vlink=purple style='tab-interval:.5in'> <div class=Section1> <div id=divCenter> <p class=subheader><b style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'><span style='font-size:14.0pt'><script language="JavaScript" src="http://www.lehigh.edu/~incl/menu.js"> </script><span class=SpellE><span class=GramE><!---- Everything above this line should remain the same ---->Vithal</span></span><span class=GramE> <span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><span class=SpellE>Kuchibatla</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p style='margin-bottom:12.0pt'><b><a href="#Wan">Wander</a><br> <a href="#Peril">Peril in the Air</a><br> <a href="#Have">He <span class=SpellE>Shound</span> Not Have</a></b><a name=Wan></a></p> <p class=subheader style='margin-left:6.0in'><b style='mso-bidi-font-weight: normal'><span style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Wander</span><o:p></o:p></b></p> <p align=center style='margin-left:.25in;text-align:center'><i>In the seemingly infinite loops of the road we wander, not knowing where we go.<br> The dusk is at hand but we look for light.<br> Some befriend us in the turmoil, some we befriend.<br> Together or one, we wander.<br> <br> All that <span class=SpellE>couldve</span> been and all that could be <span class=SpellE>doesnt</span> change the destiny.<br> All there <span class=GramE>is,</span> is the road ahead of us.<br> Every step we take becomes our first.<br> Some cross our paths, we cross some.<br> Flipping coins at crossings, <span class=GramE>We</span> Wander.<br> <br> We <span class=SpellE>dont</span> turn around, what lays behind us scares us more than what lays ahead of us.<br> The map in our hand has our name on it, <span class=SpellE><span class=GramE>thats</span></span> all it has.<br> Unto us, <span class=GramE>We</span> Wander.</i></p> <p class=MsoNormal><a name=Peril></a><span style='mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></p> <p class=subheader><b style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'><span style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></b></p> <p class=subheader><b style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'><span style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></b></p> <p class=subheader style='margin-left:5.5in;text-indent:.5in'><b style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'><span style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Peril in the Air</span> <o:p></o:p></b></p> <p style='margin-bottom:12.0pt'><i>Ladies and Gentlemen, good evening. This is your captain Hung Lo speaking. We will take off shortly, as soon as the preliminary flight checks are completed. The total duration of the flight is approximately 4 hours...</i><br> <br> Why do they keep saying that on every flight!! I almost know it by heart. There I was, on a plane to some place I didn't care and going there for some work I cared lesser. It was just another day, people around me trying to look busy reading their newspapers and sipping their coffee desperately trying to believe that reading the articles about what the president said yesterday or knowing who is going to be the next witness in the Jackson murder trial is going to make a difference in their lives; or even worse, improve their general awareness. That's what they want to believe, let them. <br> <br> <i>...there are life-vests located under each seat... </i><br> <br> Dancing cows on a bicycle! The flight is from New York to Detroit! We are not flying over any water body you moron, what are we going to do knowing about the vests!! Wisdom dawns lately upon me as usual and I chose to ignore the announcement and tried to entertain myself listening to music and trying to open the complimentary packet of peanuts.<br> <br> I look around to check if any of the air-hostesses were good-looking and to my dismay find that most of their daughters would be of my age group. Gone were the days when air-hostesses used <span class=GramE>to</span> be something worth drooling in public. The radio I was tuned into was playing Beach Boys and I immediately stopped listening to it.<br> <br> <i>&quot;Excuse me sir, but you will have to fasten your seat-belt&quot;</i><br> <br> I look up to find grandma hostess giving me the &quot;What's wrong with you idiot! <span class=GramE>Didn't you hear me shouting to everybody to fasten their seat-belts!&quot; look.</span> I succumbed to her imperial horror and done my seat belt realizing that I was too big for the economy class seats and would have to exercise.<br> <br> I was telling myself, &quot;Yes! I will exercise. I will run 2 miles a day, one mile in the morning at 6 o'clock and the other at 8 in the evening. I will start to be a health freak. <span class=GramE>I must east more vegetables&quot; and then out of <span class=SpellE>no where</span> a guy weighing 300 pound plus sat beside me.</span> He took a couple of seconds to squeeze <span class=GramE>himself</span> before, though. I looked at him and all my newly made resolutions vaporized. I tried to sleep with a contended smile.<br> <br> <i>...&quot;Passengers, we have an emergency!&quot; <span class=GramE>came</span> the captain's voice. &quot;The flight has been hi-jacked by Tommy Lee Jones! He has a gun and is very proficient in kung-fu. We need a hero to contain the situation&quot;<br> <br> &quot;I am on it captain!&quot; I sprang up. I saw the Hollywood terrorist and approached him from behind. With a tiger style double-chop on his neck I brought him down and used my belt to tie his hands. Then, I sat on him and was eating the peanuts the air-hostess gave me. It was then that I realized that Carmen Electra was one of the passengers in the flight and she was walking up to me. I was grinning at her shamelessly, crunching the peanuts, looking like a woman looks at a cup cake while on diet. With the most sensual voice in the world, Carmen says &quot;Sir would you like more peanuts?&quot;</i> &quot;Sir, would you like more peanuts?&quot; I was woken from my dream suddenly and the first thing I see in front of me is Her Imperial Air Hostess of Horror Land, looking at me like a warden looks at an inmate who has crapped all over his room. It was then that I realized that I my lids were half-open and I was smiling while dreaming. Fantasy land had vanished away and the look on the air hostess' face turned mine white like a nun's buttock.<br> <br> &quot;Err...no thank you very much, but can I get some water please?&quot; was all I could manage.<br> <br> &quot;Sure&quot; and she hands me a bottle of water.<br> <br> <i>&quot;...we are approaching Detroit and would land in approximately 20 minutes if the weather is still fine there. Please fasten your seat belts and turn your seats into upright position&quot; <span class=GramE>came</span> the captain's voice.</i><br> <br> I was happy that we were touching ground soon and gulped down the water bottle all at once. The 300 pounder beside me watched in amazement and said &quot;Wow! You sure are one <span class=SpellE>helluva</span> drinker eh!&quot; I smiled at him knowing not what to reply and started looking through the magazines in front of me.<br> <br> I had been drinking water a lot since morning and it was almost afternoon. The last bottle of water I drank had its effect and Mother Nature gave me her call. I tried to ignore the call but it was one of those &quot;Code Red&quot; ones which I had to attend. Finally, after negotiating with <span class=GramE>myself</span> for 5 minutes I concluded that the call had to be answered otherwise risking the flooding of natural reservoirs. I managed to squeeze out of my seat went down the aisle where the rest room was located.<br> <br> In the seats just before the rest room the airhostess was seated and she was looking at me like a cop looks at a hitchhiker on the expressway. She realized where I was headed and says &quot;I am sorry sir, you would have to wait. We are landing in ten minutes and you are to be seated with your seat belt fastened&quot;<br> <br> <i>&quot;...there seems to be a snow storm in Detroit and we would be delayed by a couple of minutes folks...&quot; came the captain's voice in the speaker.</i><br> <br> &quot;I am sorry sir, you would have to wait&quot;<br> <br> I was standing there not knowing what to say and definitely unaware how to handle the situation. I could feel the atmospheric pressure mounting on me and felt I would burst open any second and my intestines would splash all over the place.<br> <br> Putting aside the last shred of dignity and composure I had managed till now I said, &quot;please...<span class=GramE>its</span> <span class=SpellE>kinda</span> urgent&quot;.<br> <br> She gave one of those sinister smiles to me and said &quot;I am sorry sir, you would have to wait. We will land shortly and it is strongly advised that you be seated to avoid any injuries to yourself that may happen during the landing procedure&quot;.<br> <br> <span class=GramE>&quot;Stupid cow!!</span> <span class=SpellE><span class=GramE>Cant</span></span> you understand that I am about to explode here and I don't care about hurting myself or the freaking landing procedure. If you don't let me in, I would die in mid-air!!&quot; was what I wanted to say but obviously couldn't.<br> <br> There I was, asking <span class=GramE>be</span> to be let in to the rest room and there she was not allowing me and guarding the restroom. I was reminded of the Harry Potter movie scene where the door to the dungeon was guarded by the three-headed giant hound. By I was no Harry potter with a wand and the ugly hound in front of me was speaking of rules. The single head she had was more than enough to scare me.<br> <br> I gave up and started walking slowly towards my seat so as not to disturb the feeble equilibrium that existed temporarily and not cause a disaster. To relieve the &quot;tension&quot;, I started counting numbers &quot;1 2 3 4 5...&quot;<br> <br> No! That wouldn't work!<br> <br> &quot;A for apple, B for burst, C for couch&quot; Damn! This is not working either!<br> <br> I started looking down the window and saw that the plane was still way above ground. I contemplated grabbing a parachute and jumping of the plane. But the air hostess seemed to have read my thoughts and was guarding the door. People started laughing at me and dancing around! God damn it!! I was getting hysterical and I needed relief. I closed my eyes and I imagined a neat rest room white sparkling white commodes. With <span class=GramE>those jasmine</span> flavored room-fresheners.<br> <br> &quot;Ladies and gentlemen, we have just landed at Detroit International airport. Thank you for flying...&quot;<br> <br> God Almighty in heaven! Hallowed be Thy name! I pulled my hand luggage out of the overhead cabin and rushed for the door. The ugly airhostess saw me running out of the flight from the corner of her eye and gave a wicked, evil smile.</p> <p class=MsoNormal><a name=Have></a><span style='mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></p> <p class=subheader><i><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></i></p> <p class=subheader style='margin-left:5.5in'><b style='mso-bidi-font-weight: normal'><span style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>He Should Not Have</span> <o:p></o:p></b></p> <p>It was his first time speaking before a gathering. He could see just a handful people in front of the stage built just an hour ago. But still, he was speaking publicly at campus square! He realized he was nervous and the sweat trickling down his leg confirmed this. This was his time. For the briefest of moments, he felt like the most confident person on the face of earth and that he could command the undivided attention of those listening to him. He tapped the mike gently to test <span class=SpellE>if</span> was working and spoke:</p> <p><span class=GramE>&quot;Friends, countrymen, engineers!</span> The time has come. We have gathered here to witness our dream becoming a reality. A dream that has united <span class=GramE>us,</span> and a dream for which we have been united. A dream that was more important than each of us. <span class=GramE>A dream that will affect each of our lives, night and day, henceforth.</span> What we have been wanting for decades has finally become a reality. Henceforth, every student here shall be able to buy luxury class premium condoms anytime of the day on any day of the week at the campus store! We shall no more be held down by the bonds of unsafe sex...&quot;</p> <p>&quot;For Christ's sake, shut the <span class=SpellE>hellup</span> Dick! I asked you to test the mike, not blow your ass off in front of it&quot;, shouted Chris standing beside the amplifier unit.</p> <p>Damn! He had not noticed Chris arriving. Things have been difficult for the entire team since Chris took over as the event-coordinator. His predecessor, Eric, was much <span class=GramE>more easy</span> to work with. Chris was a total pain in the ass. He wanted everything to be &quot;perfect&quot; and kept his subordinates on a tight leash. What Richard hated most about him was that when he called him Dick, it was as though he really meant it. He hated him. Richard wished Eric to return back from his vacation earlier than planned. He never planned on being an electrician and didn't enjoy working as one. He would have to change jobs soon.</p> <p>He checked his watch. It was finally lunchtime and he was famished. All he had since morning was a couple of cokes he got free from the college canteen even though the doctor told him to stop having them. McDonald's was right around the corner and he decided to find his salvation there. It was getting colder by the day and his flimsy jacket was doing a good job of keeping away the cold. He stuck his hands deep inside his pockets and walked to the burger joint only to find that there was a big queue at the counter. </p> <p><br> Shit! He quickly joined the queue and counted nine people in front of him. Twenty minutes would be a good approximate of his wait time for his turn at the counter. He heard some noise behind him and realized that two middle-aged ladies and a kid joined the queue behind him. The two ladies were conversing in Spanish and he was thankful to God he didn't understand the language. The kid was looking at the <span class=SpellE>Knick's</span> logo on the back of his jacket and tugging at its lower end. He tried to ignore him. He was a cute kid though. Six may be seven years old. Blissful age!</p> <p>Ten minutes later, with just two people ahead of him, he was quickly browsing the menu. That's when it happened.</p> <p class=MsoNormal style='margin-bottom:12.0pt'><span style='mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'><br> &quot;<span class=SpellE>Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr</span>&quot;<br> <br> Damn! He couldn't believe it was happening! Not here, not now! Oh God! And then it happened again.<br> <br> &quot;<span class=SpellE>Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr</span>&quot;<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p>Bloody hell! He started passing gas again. He had been having this &quot;fart-stroke&quot; for some years now. He would start farting out of nowhere and do it continuously for like 15 minutes. The doc told him it was due to his excessive consumption of soda and he should stop all carbonated drinks. His friends had nicknamed it has &quot;Dick's fart-ups&quot;. He had been abstaining from sodas and avoiding public embarrassments for some time now but... </p> <p class=MsoNormal style='margin-bottom:12.0pt'><span style='mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'>He shouldn't have had those cokes in the morning.<br> <br> &quot;<span class=SpellE>Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr</span>&quot;<br> <br> Shit!! God please stop this.<br> <br> &quot;<span class=SpellE>Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr</span>&quot;<br> <br> He took a deep breath, tried squeezing his but cheeks shut as much as possible. One, two, three and<br> <br> &quot;<span class=SpellE>Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr</span>&quot;<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p>Crap! This is not good. He was thinking what he could do and then he suddenly remembered! <span class=GramE>The kid who was right behind him.</span> Oh God! He turned back looked down at the kid. The boy was staring at his back and looked as if his toy was just stolen by elves and had an almost anemic face. He smiled at the kid and asked him &quot;Hey young <span class=SpellE>fella</span>! You OK?&quot;</p> <p class=MsoNormal style='margin-bottom:12.0pt'><span style='mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'>And then there was the &quot;<span class=SpellE>Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr</span>&quot;.<br> <br> He shouldn't have had those cokes in the morning.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p>The kid looked bewildered for a split second and &quot;<span class=SpellE>waaaaaaa</span>...<span class=GramE>&quot;,</span> he started crying. The mom stopped speaking to her friend and looked at him, looked at the kid, looked at him again and spoke like a Hispanic tigress guarding her cub &quot;Hey <span class=SpellE>meester</span>! <span class=GramE>You <span class=SpellE>messin</span> wit ma <span class=SpellE>keed</span>?&quot;</span></p> <p class=MsoNormal style='margin-bottom:12.0pt'><span style='mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'>&quot;No <span class=SpellE>mam</span>! I_.I wouldn't do anything to upset you boy. Eh...excuse me &quot;.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p>He moved away from the kid as far away as possible. The person ahead of him got his <span class=SpellE>BigMac</span> and moved on and it was his turn at the counter. The person at the counter was a black woman in her late twenties and looked busy.</p> <p class=MsoNormal style='margin-bottom:12.0pt'><span style='mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'>&quot;Good afternoon, Sir. What would you like to have today?<span class=GramE>&quot;,</span> she almost rapped.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p>&quot;Eh...I would like a happy meal and a '<span class=SpellE>Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr</span>' fries to go with it please&quot; Shit!! He hoped to god she didn't hear him and would throw some food at him so that he could run away from the joint.</p> <p class=MsoNormal style='margin-bottom:12.0pt'><span style='mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'>He shouldn't have had those cokes in the morning.<br> <br> The woman didn't seem to notice or feel the turmoil in the atmosphere. <span class=GramE>Thank you Father in heaven.</span> I am going church this Sunday!<br> <br> &quot;We don't sell those fries anymore sir. We got regular ones though. <span class=GramE>Would you like regular fries?&quot;.<br> <br> &quot;</span>Yes, I would like the '<span class=SpellE>Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr</span>' fries please&quot;.<br> <br> This time around, she had a puzzled look on her face and was looking doubtful.<br> <br> &quot;Would you like to <span class=SpellE>biggy</span>-size them?&quot; she dared to ask.<br> <br> <span class=GramE>&quot;<span class=SpellE>Prrrrr</span>&quot;.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p>He didn't even bother to answer this time and tried to smile. The woman was scanning the counter for paper napkins, found them, grabbed one of them, and held it to her nose.</p> <p class=MsoNormal><span style='mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"'>He shouldn't have had those cokes in the morning.<br> <br> <span class=GramE>&quot;Six dollars.</span> <span class=GramE>Cash or credit?&quot;</span> She was looking scared now.<br> <br> <span class=GramE>&quot;<span class=SpellE>Prrrrr</span>&quot;.</span> He had the money ready in his hand.<br> <br> &quot;For here or...&quot;<br> <br> <span class=GramE>&quot;<span class=SpellE>Prrrrr</span>&quot;.</span> She understood it as <span class=SpellE><span class=GramE>togo</span></span>. He was still smiling and nodded.<br> <br> &quot;Your order will be ready soon. Please step aside&quot;. It was not a request.<br> <br> He stepped as far away from the counter as possible. His order arrived with lightning speed and he fled from the place not looking back.<br> <br> He shouldn't have had those cokes in the morning. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <div class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'><span style='mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> <hr size=2 width="100%" align=center> </span></div> <p class=MsoNormal style='margin-bottom:12.0pt'><span style='mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></p> </div> </div> </body> </html>